I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
