a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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