I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
