What a fucking waste of an outfit
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
