i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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