would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
