she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Even my vagina gasped.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
