Please, let me fuck your mom
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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