Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
