We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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