so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
