I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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