Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
