There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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