a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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