Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
