i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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