Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
