Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
