I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I faked an abortion last night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
