On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
