its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
