So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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