I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize