Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
