No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
