I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
