Porn is love you can see.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
