Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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