dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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