god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
