let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
