yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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