Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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