They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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