shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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