In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize