...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
