dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Randomize
