i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
