he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
