Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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