Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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