I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
