Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches

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(336): View more from North Carolina

the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.

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(213): View more from California

Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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(609): View more from New Jersey

get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.

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(925): View more from California

You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub

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(352): View more from Florida

Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with

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