Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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