He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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