so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
