Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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