The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
