You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
