Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
