So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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