just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
