No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
