apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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