Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
