New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize