I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So vagazzling was a success
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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