she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
