Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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