Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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