The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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