Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
